How to tell your parents you’re pregnant?
If I ever have to do it, this is how it’s happening.
MY GRANDMOTHER TRIED TO GO TO THE MOVIES YESTERDAY AND ACCIDENTALLY GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE CHICAGO GAY PRIDE PARADE AND SHE HAD THE TIME OF HER LIFE AND WANTS TO GO AS A FAMILY NEXT YEAR OH MY GOD
I heart you, ruinscape’s Grammy.
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
that’s the stuff my best dreams are made out of
Gomez and Morticia Addams
The love I’ve always wanted.
when you drop something but grab it before it hits the ground
introductory paragraph of my essay:
Not even just. This is actually representative of any time anyone challenges me. I rarely have actual content to back it up.
I freakin’ love it that I can’t tell if this dog is trying to be encouraging, or a smug asshole.
Wes Anderson needs to make The Heartbreaking Van Houtens.
So they always put a girl character in movies for someone to fall in love with?
my 7 year old son (astutely calling attention to the lack of female leads in action and adventure films).
While watching Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz flirt in POTC On Stranger Tides my son asked me “Why is there always romance in every movie?” He had asked the same question last week when we watched Kirsten Dunst and Toby Maguire have their memorable moment in the rain in Spiderman. He’s 7 and not a fan of kissing scenes. I try to explain that many people, especially adults, enjoy romance so it’s a popular thing in movies.
He responds with “So they always put a girl character in for someone to fall in love with?” And I am floored, because I realize the message Hollywood has sent my child is that you only need to include one female character - and it’s not so she can be the hero. If a 7 year old boy can recognize that women in action films are nothing but a plot device it is time for the film industry to admit they have a problem.
I like how that kid refers to the female character as “girl character” while all the men get to be “someone”. Because in the eyes of the male population women are not someone.
Even seven year old boys know that women are not someone.
moves so fresh you revive the dead comics
The gloves Abraham Lincoln wore on the night of his assassination. The cuffs are stained with his blood.
One of the first big discussions I remember having with my friend Leroy was inspired by an AskReddit question: if you had to have a threesome with two former (i.e. non-Obama) Presidents of the USA, who would you choose?
For me, Lincoln and Clinton, obviously. I would not welcome these gloves, but Abe could leave his hat on.